You Can’t Watch This

I liked this movie when it came out, and I like it still. I’m glad someone asked me to watch it, cause it’s been a little while.

Tom wrote: Ok, I dare you to watch Fargo.  Not because I think its all that bad, but per
your review of Top Gun, please explain to me what makes Fargo so good.
Seriously, what’s all the hype about? Why have some reviewers called Francis
McDormand’s performance “sublime?”  

Fargo - Dir. Joel Coen 1996

Watching this movie after a several year break was, in fact, sublime (though, I admit to looking up “sublime” in the dictionary). To be scrupulous, Frances McDormand’s performance was even more salient than I remembered it. The story was as facund as the first time I watched it, and the compelling foil of Steve Buscemi’s character and his consort (Peter Stormare, who, incidentally I once delivered a sandwich to [he tipped well]) was decidedly “boss”.

The Plot: A mild-mannered rube (William H.Macy) devises a scheme to get himself out of a willy of a monetary pickle: he will hire two hooligans to abscond with his wife, which in turn will compel his father-in-law to “put up” a “ransom” that “is” enough to both compensate the goons and get himself out of debt. As one would expect in a Coen brothers production, circumstances become complicated rather quickly. Frances McDormand, a local police officer who is in a family way, is put on the case after the first blood is drawn. What subsequently unfolds is simultaneously an unparalleled game of cat and mouse and a comedy that is darker than a crow at midnight.

What Makes It Watchable: Fargo is simply a solid film that is set in a background that was (and still is) largely shunned by Hollywood. It’s performances were not just quirky, but relatable–its players not only captivating, but recognizable. The Machiavellian motives of Macy’s character (and his just and resultant desserts) play out as dulcetly as Pachabel’s Cannon in “D”, though the audience is ultimately left with a (perhaps disturbing) feeling of compassion, even for this film’s rougest of rouges.

To put it plainly, the well-paced and unusual plot, the believable performances of the actors, and the interesting and unique setting are what make this film a winner. You could say that the hype over this movie was a bit excessive, and I wouldn’t call you wrong, but how often do you see a film where you can’t pick out something REALLY wrong with it? The idea of making movies outside of Hollywood (as Fargo was made) was still just making its way into the maintstream in 1996, and seeing a film that was, for all intents, flawless being made by an independant got the right people excited, and of course talking about it. It’s unfortunate, however, that the tendancy to exaggerate and to use language that is less accessible than it needs to be made its way into many of the reviews, comments, and articles about the film (and I think that’s why it’s easy to be a little jaded about how people talk about Fargo, even though the film itself is pretty dang good).

Averted Eyes: 0

Breaks Needed to Complete Viewing: 0

Overall Rating from 1 to 10: At least 10ish 

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Hausu (House) - Dir. Nobuhiko Obayashi (1977)

When I was a kid, I sent away for a GWAR T-shirt that was advertised in the back of a heavy metal magazine. I stuffed an envelope with a $20 bill and off through the mail it went. To aquire “House”, I went through a very similar process; the only difference is “House” was actually delivered to me (and for $5 less).

Okay–forget everything else I’ve dared you to watch that you haven’t been able
to hunt down and watch yourself a little number called House (or Hausu,
depending).  No, no, not that one.  Nor either of it’s three sequels or
whatever.  I’m talking about the 1977 Japanese… thing… from one Nobuhiko
Obayashi.  I’m not sure how to classify this one, but it’s kinda like Happiness
of the Katakuris meets the trailer to Suspiria and they run headlong together
through High School Ghost Hustlers straight into a crappy Vincent Price movie
and some guy gets buried alive beneath bananas in the process.  Really, that
doesn’t do it justice, though–it’s definitely a five-leafer on the
Psychotronic scale. –The Rev.

I’ve seen one or two things called “House” in my day. The series of “horror” films by that name are certainly worth watching (or at least they were when I was 13), and the TV series about the doctor with an attitude can be very entertaining. However, after viewing this 1977 gem, the winner for best “House” is Hausu, by a long shot!

The Plot: As for the story, Hausu is not a far cry from a few other films I’ve seen. A few young women go on vacation to a creepy old house wherein resides a creepy old woman. Sounds pretty familiar, right?

What Makes It Watchable: When I’m in the mood for something weird, Japanese cinema is generally a good bet. However, sometimes I’m left with the feeling that the movie I just watched wasn’t Japanese enough. This was not the case with Hausu. Take the best parts of the oddest Japanese game show you’ve ever watched, combine it with a fairly rote haunting story, and add a sprinkle of legitimate experimental film and you’ll get something like this movie. In no way dissapointing, and completely watchable (if you can find it), movies like this are why I started this site in the first place.

(Sorry no more details; this movie is well worth going into without any knowledge of what will happen)

Averted Eyes: None

Breaks Needed to Complete Viewing: 1 to make nachos

Overall Rating from 1 to 10: 9 

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Heather Huston wrote:
The Thorn Birds. I think its just under the time limit.

Sadly, Heather the total runtime of “The Thornbirds” is 477 minutes (do the math and that’s almost 8 hours). Since I have a 4 hour time limit for the site, I don’t feel so bad that I didn’t watch the WHOLE THING. I did, however, watch the first disc, and what a disc it was! 

The Thornbirds (mini-series) - Dir. Daryl Duke 1983

The Plot (of disc one, anyway): A money/power hungry traveling priest in the outback of Australia is seduced by an old lady and romantically attracted to a little girl.

What Makes it Watchable: I had a conversation with my girlfriend the other day about me and romantic movies. She finds it odd that films like “She’s All That” and “Sweet Home Alabama” hold my interest, but I had a very difficult time making it through “The Notebook”. We came to the conclusion that I don’t like “romances” but can enjoy “romantic comedies”. I think I’ll have to ammend that conclusion, cause “The Thornbirds”–a romance if ever there was one–held my attention for like 3 hours. In fact, had I asked Netflix to ship me the other 5 hours, I’d probably have watched those, too.

So, I’ve come to my own conclusion about romances and romantic comedies: I can enjoy either as long as they are entertaining. To put it another way:”The Notebook” just plain sucks.

“The Thornbirds” was actually fun. Maybe some people don’t find old ladies seducing traveling priests and priests staring longingly at little girls entertaining, but I did. The film is a little over the top–just enough that the acting is convincing but campy at the same time. There’s not a lot of humor in the story, but there are plenty of opportunities to laugh. If you’ve ever watched a movie where about 40 percent of the screen time is dedicated to accusing stares and expressions of shame, you’ll get the picture.

Averted Eyes: 0

Needed Breaks: 2

Overall Rating from One to Ten: 6

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